I Wore This Yesterday

I know I joke an awful lot when it comes to serious issues. It’s a problem.

Or maybe it’s a cure?

I have always had a tendency to say the most inappropriate things at the wrong times. But hey, that’s just me. I feel better when I make a joke about something scary. It doesn’t mean I’m any less worried than you. It doesn’t mean I haven’t prepared for the worst. It doesn’t mean I don’t talk to my kids about what’s happening in the world.

I am worried.

I am preparing.

I talk to my kids daily.

We live in Ohio, where yesterday, Governor Mike DeWine declared beginning Monday, March 16, all K-12 students in the state will have an extended 3-week-long Spring Break in an effort to slow the spread of COVID-19.

Our local school district made the call to put this into effect beginning today, March 13, as did many other surrounding districts.

Allow me first to applaud my school district AND our elementary school’s quick actions regarding this matter.

I received the Governor’s news as I was sitting in the school pick up line yesterday afternoon. It was just before 3pm. I don’t know how all the insider shit works…I mean, I would LIKE to think that our teachers got a little more of a heads-up about what might happen before 3pm…But I honestly don’t know. Regardless – our teachers handled it like true Badass Motherf-ers.

My kindergarten daughter came home with her math and writing journals and instructions for continuing education over the next few weeks. She told me that her teacher sanitized desks/tables AND their take-home folders. BAMF Number One: Miss S. She heard the news, got our kids’ educational shit together, and even made sure it was as clean as it could be.

My second grade son came home with all his workbooks. He told me that his teacher would be “calling or texting or emailing or something.” Bless his heart. I’m sure she said something slightly more assuring than that, but that’s my boy! Either way, BAMF Number Two: Mrs. B. She may not have had instructions written out, but second graders undoubtedly have more involved assignments than a kindergartner. She did what she could in her short amount of time to prepare, and just sent it all home.

BAMF Number Three: Mr. Superintendent. We were home from school yesterday for maybe a half hour when he announced that school closures were beginning Friday rather than Monday. He made a quick, HARD decision. It seems as though Mr. Superintendent can never win where the public is concerned. Somebody is always bitching and questioning his decisions throughout the school year. Parent Facebook groups are the best place to watch people bitch about snow days. Anyway – I know that he knew not everyone would agree with this. I know he knew that it was putting teachers and staff in a time-crunch. But ya know what? He weighed the options, thought about what was SAFEST for our children and communities, and he acted. Bad. Ass.

BAMF Number Four: Every single teacher and staff member in our entire district and any others WHO ARE STILL GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY to prepare lessons for our kids. It is NOT a snow day for these BAMF’s. They are showing up. They’re making lesson plans. They’re taking instruction from administration. They’re wiping down their classrooms with Clorox. They’re packing up their resources to take home. They’re going to be sending us parents e-mails, texts, Class Dojo alerts, Remind alerts…They’re going to get on the parent Facebook groups (as they already have been) to answer questions and help where they can. THERE’S A MOTHER-EFFING GLOBAL PANDEMIC AND THESE PEOPLE ARE STILL SHOWING UP FOR OUR KIDS. Bad ass times one million, as far as I’m concerned.

OK – So, like I said…Ohio. Schools are closed. Shit is flying off shelves at grocery stores. YEAH – I’m freaking worried. This is stuff you see in movies. Not shit that actually happens. I can’t, for the life of me, get the thought out of my head that I’m going to end up as the mom in Outbreak that’s being taken away in a government vehicle and she can’t hug her kid to say goodbye – the dad is all, “don’t touch mommy!” – UGGH! My heart, ovaries, and acid reflex all at once with that thought!

So, preparing….

Well, I’m a self-proclaimed Extreme Couponer, so theres a lot of stuff we’re cool on. And yes, before anyone gets on their judgy high-horse and asks the question – I would be HAPPY to share my three-year-supply of shampoo and mouthwash with anyone who needed it. But, that brings me to my next point…It’s been a rough few months in my little couponing world. I won’t bore you with the details, but let’s just say, some store policies have changed, my coupon-supply suffered a slight shortage…Anyway – I’m not completely stocked on some super important stuff, so that’s my mission for today. Yep, I’m going to the freaking grocery store with all the other yahoos Doomsday-Prepping and probably going to get coughed and sneezed on. I’m literally sitting here imagining how I could make it possible to strip naked and burn my clothes before I set foot back in my house later on. I’m sure the neighbors would understand. Maybe.

I don’t want to go out. But I do feel like it’s my duty. If my family has to live Bunker Life for the next few weeks, I have to be the one to go out in the scary, germy world and do the shopping so it’s possible.

Ahem, where’s your husband? you ask? He’s at work! Somebody’s gotta make that Doomsday money! Trust me, we talked about it last night – he would totally, unquestionably, rather me go shopping WITH him. I’m the dumbass that insists it’s a smarter idea to go earlier in the day when stores are hopefully less busy. But, who knows? I guess I’ll let ya know how it works out today.

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Right now, it’s almost 8am. I have to go put on a little makeup before I head out so people don’t look at me and assume I’m already infected.

I guess I’ll blog whatever insanity I run into today.

Stay tuned….