Socially Distant Spring Break

Beginning at 11:59pm, Monday, March 23, all Ohioans were ordered to stay at home by Governor Mike DeWine.

Unless you are an “essential worker,” or going to the grocery store or doctor, you should keep your ass at home.

Well…The kids haven’t gone any further than a simple walk down the street since schools closed on March 13. And I have not been in my car since my Doomsday-Prepping shopping trip.

Hubs is still working full time. He is an “essential worker,” at a hospital.

This week is actual Spring Break in our district, so I haven’t made my kiddos do any of their homeschooling in a few days. In fact, we have been ridiculously relaxed around here this week. It kind of seems like college Spring Breakers are living here, rather than a mom and three youngins.

My oldest has been walking around in only underwear for at least four days straight. I keep telling him that it’s not right to stay undressed all day, living with young ladies in the house – but it’s hard to enforce clothing when I, myself, have been wearing moo-moos and my husband’s boxers as pants.

My daughter has been wearing shirts but no pants, reasoning that if we aren’t leaving the house, she needs to be free to “air out.” She refuses to brush her hair and she continuously uses interpretive dance as her only means of exercise. She argues with Alexa like she’s a real person and ugly-cries when she says, “sorry, I dont know that.”

Little Guy can only be described as the belligerently drunk Spring Breaker who constantly gets “great ideas.” This morning, he chugged a sippy cup full of grape soda then decided to rearrange the kitchen furniture and feed the dogs garlic butter, all while shitting his pants.

Today, I am determined to get us all bathed and dressed in actual clothes by a decent hour. It’s supposed to be warmer and sunnier, so I thought we would really get wild and maybe ride bikes.

There are only a few days left until we have to get back to homeschooling, so we should really be making the most of our “break.”

On social media, I keep seeing all these eager parents sharing their creative ideas for fun with their families during this time. The Governor’s wife even got on TV yesterday and shared recipes and art projects her grandchildren are doing.

I should get on that….

OK, I GUESS I’m on board in some ways with these families. I mean – I didn’t yell at Little Guy immediately yesterday when he drew on the wall with colored pencils. He said his scribbles were Moana, Daddy, and tacos. How do you stop a 2-year-old on that kind of creative streak?

And we have all been totally into our dogs’ Fight Club. Just five minutes ago, we took bets on whether Eleanor or Penny would win as they fought over the banana Little Guy threw at them. So…ya know…sports.

Yesterday, we adventurously tried regular frozen chicken nugs instead of dinosaur-shaped ones.

Oh, and the kids figured out how to use the baby monitor as walkie-talkies.

So, yeah.. I guess we aren’t doing THAT bad. My Junior Spring Breakers are having fun.

And every day at 2:00, it’s #WineWithDeWine.

I suppose we will just see what today brings.

In true Spring Break fashion, as long as no one throws up, it’s a good day!


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