I Wore This Yesterday

10 years ago, I was 22.

All my little-girl dreams were coming true.

Bought a house. Planned a big wedding.

Starting a family was a must.

10 years ago, you and I started out as different people.

When we were first married, we were both young and dumb. We made plenty of mistakes that I’m sure most couples go through.

I’m not going to list the mistakes because I know there were many.

But, our biggest mistake…

That was thinking marriage meant we reached the finish line –

As if there was no work left to be done.

How naive we were.

I know I could blame you for things that have gone wrong. And, you know that I have.  It’s always easier to point the finger at someone else than at yourself.

But, after 10 years of marriage and 3 kids…

10 years of good times…Bad times…

10 years of sickness and health…

It’s only fair that I take some responsibility.

It’s only fair that you hear what I know I have done wrong.

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I have never helped you rake leaves.  I have never mowed the lawn.  Not once. I have never pulled weeds. I have never laid mulch, dirt, or rocks.

I have never taken care of the bills. I’ve always assumed you had it covered.

I have never helped you put together a bicycle or a doll house.

I have never told you thank you for doing those things so I didn’t have to.

Did you know that I was proud of you? I don’t think you did, because I never told you.

Did you know I appreciate you? I never told you that either.

How many times did I tell you when I was sad about something? How many times did I keep it to myself?

Did you know that when the kids hug you, my heart smiles?

Have I told you how it melts my heart to hear, “Good night, Daddy. I love you?”

I hated how few diapers you changed.

I resented doing some things alone.

Did you know when I was angry? I don’t think so, because I never told you.

After 10 years…3 kids…good times…bad times…sickness…health…

I want to admit…

That I was wrong.

I was wrong for not helping you.

I was wrong for not offering.

I was wrong every single time you didn’t hear me say, “thank you.”

After 10 years, these are obviously only just a few things…

But for the next 10 years…

And forever after that…

I promise to do better.

I promise to help you, thank you, and love you.

I will appreciate every little effort you make.

I will be grateful.

I will be positive.

I will play on your team every day.

If you are wondering, “what the hell?”

Wondering, why I’m saying these things to you…

It’s because, after 10 years…

It’s time for an “I Do, Take 2.”

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