I Wore This Yesterday

Last night the Hubs and I watched the 1995 Dustin Hoffman classic, Outbreak. Ya know, the one where Patrick Dempsey brings the Motaba-infected monkey to America and unwittingly begins an epidemic.

Ah…Nothing like putting the kids to bed early just to eat popcorn and freak ourselves the eff out during Corona-Isolation…Romance at its finest.

But seriously, what is with our obsession for Apocalyptic movies right now? Ever since this COVID-19 bullshit started, we have been watching one global-tragedy movie after another every night. It’s like a new addiction.

And last night I also made an interesting realization…One that made me feel a little better about our sick obsession…

We get on Netflix and went straight to “search.” We didn’t even have to type in the word, “Outbreak.” It was already there. Apparently, it is one of the top-searched movies right now.

Awesome.

We aren’t the only sickos trying to get our Apocalyptic movie fix right now.

What is it about a global pandemic that makes us want to watch this shit? Our actual reality isn’t scary enough? I don’t know. I’m no psychologist, so I can’t say, for sure, what draws us to this genre in these times. I’m just glad to know that we aren’t alone, having this fascination.

So, anyway, here’s a list of Apocalyptic movies Hubs and I have been watching, or intend to watch soon and why the f*** we are so obsessed with them.

Outbreak (1995)

My exact first thought when I heard about Coronavirus was this movie. For months, I have been picturing Dustin Hoffman trying to stop Morgan Freeman from blowing us up to contain the virus.

Armageddon (1998)

Ahhhh….Bruce Willis and a band of misfit oil-drillers save the world from an asteroid the size of Texas. Basically everything about this movie is scientifically inaccurate, but the visual effects and comedy are fantastic. We love this movie, even when we aren’t in a “we’re gonna die” mood. I only pray that one day my Hubs discovers a giant ball of fire in the sky and demands it be named after his wife, because “she’s a vicious life-sucking bitch from which there is no escape.”

2012 (2009)

Loosely based on the notion that the Mayan calendar ended in the year 2012, therefore predicting the end of the world. This movie is really not great. It did well in its time because the conspiracy theories were hot. We watched it a few weeks ago and I remembered quickly that I don’t care for it. Way over sensationalized and the plot had SO many holes that just bugged the hell outta me. However, John Cusack has been one of my favorite actors since like forever (because, “I’m Lloyd Dobler.”)

The Happening (2008)

We literally just watched this. I hate it. The entire idea that plants are releasing toxins that make you kill yourself…I just can’t get into it. I realize there is some scientific roots that this was derived from, but I don’t know…The movie just sucked. I think the part where people suddenly have the urge to turn on a big-ass lawn mower and lay down in front of it was where it lost my interest. Like, WTF?

Doomsday (2008)

We haven’t watched this recently, but it’s on my list for soon! My opinion: a completely underrated dystopian film. Basically, there’s a terrible virus that kills millions in Scotland, so the government is forced to lock down the country with brutal force, leaving its citizens for dead. Years later, the virus re-emerges in London and a special forces team is sent to Scotland to search for clues to a cure. The team finds that there were actually many survivors who have formed new societies within the quarantined walls. Some crazy shit happens throughout the movie. It has a very Mad Max tone. If you haven’t seen this, it is absolutely one that will satisfy your Apocalyptic movie addiction.

Knowing (2009)

I freaking love Nicolas Cage but I HATE this movie. Hubs loves it. Nic Cage is a professor who finds a paper from a time capsule with lots and lots of numbers written front and back. He figures out that the numbers are predicting tragedies over the years. The very last prediction…The end of the world. Oh, and surprise – there are aliens! I’m not sure why Hubs likes this movie so much. I dislike it because most of the plot is dark and ominous, like a horror film, then out of nowhere come aliens to make it sci-fi. I don’t know. It freaks me out too. There’s a scene where Nic Cage is dreaming and everything in his yard is on fire and it just makes my skin crawl with unease.

War of the Worlds (2005)

I just saw this for the first time ever, which is crazy because I am usually on top of classic titles and their remakes. This movie is absolute shit. I don’t care who disagrees. It sucks. The aliens are defeated by our germs. Our freaking germs. The idea is genius, but it ruins the movie completely. It’s like: suspense, suspense, suspense, suspense…GERMS…end credits.

Oh, and Tom Cruise is the worst.  Change my mind!

Zombieland (2009)

A comical zombie movie masterpiece!  We could watch this a million times over and it will never ever get old.  Jesse Eisenberg and Woody Harrelson are the perfect Odd Couple and Emma Stone is just amazing, as usual.  On my very first Coronavirus shopping trip, Hubs gave me explicit instructions to buy a large supply of Twinkies because, “believe it or not, Twinkies have an expiration date.”

Zombieland: Double Tap (2019)

We just saw this. The plot sucked and was rushed, but it was full of plenty of one-liners and references from the first film to make it enjoyable.

Gotta keep laughing during Corona-Isolation.

I Am Legend (2007)

Another virus that turns people into zombie-like creatures. What freaks me out about RIGHT NOW is how rapidly we are trying to develop a vaccination for Coronavirus, because in this movie, the cure for cancer is basically what turns people into zombies.

Will Smith is the only human left in New York City. Accompanied by his dog, he is still searching for a cure and other living humans. It’s a pretty good movie. We both like it. You basically have no soul if you don’t tear up after his dog meets his fate.

The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)

This is a remake obviously. It’s not terrible. It’s also not fantastic. I just love that aliens always seem to want to save our planet but not necessarily us because humans suck at taking care of the environment.

12 Monkeys (1995)

I can’t remember if Hubs has seen this. I’m going to ask and if he hasn’t, this is our Doomsday movie for tonight!

Bruce Willis goes back in time to find the origin of a deadly virus. SO MUCH craziness happens throughout this film. Brad Pitt is medically insane. Some creepy doctors sing Blueberry Hill. The Army of the 12 Monkeys needs to be found. And absolutely nothing I am saying makes ANY sense because, unless you see the movie more than once, you will never ever get it. But it is GREAT

The Fifth Element (1997)

Dude, Bruce Willis saves the world a lot.

I guess this isn’t really a movie you’d normally think of as Apocalyptic. But, hear me out.

Bruce Willis is a cab driver who literally has “The Fifth Element,” a supreme being, fall into his lap. It is up to him to deliver her to the ancient site, where she and the other four elements will come together to stop the destruction of the world.

There are no viruses or zombies…But there IS the threat of the world ending. This movie is and always will be pure entertainment. It’s adventurous and hilarious. And it is basically Chris Tucker’s finest character performance.

Dawn of the Dead (2004)

Viruses. Zombies. Blood. Guts.

A group of strangers trying to survive in a shopping mall.

One of my favorite zombie movies ever.

Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Spoof of Dawn of the Dead. Comical genius. I don’t even need to explain why we love this movie.

“You’ve got red on you.”

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I KNOW I’m missing a lot of great ones. As I said, this is stuff we have either watched recently, or have in mind to watch soon.

Hey – if anyone can tell me why global crises make us want to watch this kind of stuff, let me know!

If YOU have this insane obsession right now too, let me know!

If there’s an Apocalyptic movie you think Hubs and I should see, let us know!!