Rainbow Saved My Life

Everybody has “things.”

Tools are his “thing.” Fishing is his “thing.” Books are her “thing.”

Everybody has a thing.  Whether it’s a hobby, leisure activity, whatever…

I have three things.

Writing is the first and most obvious. I enjoy blogging for myself and to connect with others. Writing is a therapeutic, creative outlet.

Anyone who knows me, knows number two is extreme couponing. I LOVE a good deal and nothing gives me a rush like getting free toothpaste. I don’t write about couponing, though, because while I have the patience to deal-find, I don’t feel like doing it for the masses.

My number three thing, though unsurprising to those who know me personally, is a little different.  I have always had some sort of passion for music.  I can’t play ANY instrument and I sure as shit can’t sing.  It’s more of a love and appreciation for music.  But, my main thing…for quite some time now…Kesha.

Yeah…I know…Not what you would expect. And honestly, nothing like what I was brought up on. My father has me very well-versed in Rock and Roll. Most of my favorites are in the Classic Rock genre and I’m pretty proud to say I know most lyrics to any Beatles song.

I have not wanted to publicly declare my love for Kesha, for fear of sounding like a juvenile, obsessed fan-girl.  But, understanding my love for this artist, may help your understanding of me.

I’ll Keep This Explanation Short…

I started listening to Kesha when I was young. I don’t remember exactly how old. Somewhere between teenage and college years, I guess. Back then, she was all party hard dance music with explicit lyrics. I suppose that was the allure, being younger.

As I grew as an adult, so did she, and thus evolved as a more mature artist, though keeping her explcit language (which, I’m not gonna lie, I love because I never grew out of saying the F Bomb).

Anyway…Here is what I ultimately love about her today: Kesha’s music and lyrics are beautiful, empowering, empathetic, honest, and dirty.

Her Rainbow album saved my life.

How Rainbow Saved My Life

“I used to live in the darkness,

Dress in black, act so heartless, but now,

I see that colors are everything…”

I had been a pessimistic, selfish person for much of my adult life. Always looking for the bad, never the good. Always finding something to bitch about. Luckily, sarcasm runs in my blood pretty thick, so I managed to keep some people around with my blunt humor. But truly…For a very long time, I had trouble being optimistic. Thinking about it now, it was like an addiction. An addiction to dwelling. An addiction to the power of fear and hate.

I’m making myself sound horrendous.

But the truth is – you never really know the inner battles people are fighting.

So…The Rainbow album.

I’m not a professional music critic, so I’m just going to keep it cliche and say that the music can really speak for itself.

With the help of Hubs and a small, amazing circle of support, I have pulled myself from the slump.

And Kesha was there too.

Rainbow is song after song, speaking directly to me.

It is beautiful. It is honest. It is everything.

Bastards

A ballad about mean people. “Don’t let the bastards take you down.”

Let ’em Talk

An anthem for you doing you.

Praying

Hauntingly beautiful. This was written about overcoming abuse, but good lyrics are versatile. It means something completely different to me than it does her, but any way you hear it, it is a lyrical masterpiece.

Learn To Let Go

“The past can’t haunt me if I don’t let it.

Live and learn and never forget it.

Gotta learn to let it go.”

This song really does speak for itself. I sing it to myself ALL THE TIME. It reminds me that I’ve f***ed up, but as long as I keep moving forward, I’ll be fine. Forgiveness is for YOU, not the person you are forgiving. And sometimes…You need to forgive YOURSELF for YOURSELF. Learn to let it go.

Rainbow

My. Favorite.

I cannot put into words what this song means to me.

So, Now That You Understand Just A Little More…

Listen. I have never been perfect. This is definitely, probably, most-likely, a fan-girl thing. My head hasn’t always been in it to win it and I found comfort in an artist. But, ya know what? It’s OK. That’s why artists do what they do, right?

I will absolutely stand by my statement that Rainbow saved my life because it comforted me when I needed it.

And it still does.

I’m doing MUCH better these days…But the music is still great and the comfort fits like a good sweater.

This is my fan-girl post.

I’m proud of it.

Kesha – If you ever, by some grace of the Cosmos read this…You helped me. You comforted me. You saved me from me. Thank you.

I am an Animal for life.

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