Having 3 kids of my own and being in my young 30s – I like to think of myself as a Cool Mom.
I’m totally with the times and maybe even a touch progressive when it comes to kids. I let my 6-year-old daughter temporarily color her hair, for God’s sake.
But there’s some Trendy Mom Shit that I will just never get on board with.
Things that make me go, “Ugh, why?”
Gender Reveal Parties
You get a wedding shower. You get a baby shower. Now you want gender reveal party too?
Let me say the unspoken truth about showers: Most people in attendance hate them and can’t wait to leave. They are hoping and praying that theirs will be the first gift you open so they can say, “you’re welcome,” and dip out before the other cars start moving. Most showers take place on Sunday afternoons, around 2pm – smack dab in the middle of your final resting day before the work week. It’s nice to see friends and family – but after your belly is full and the bridal bingo begins, the boredom sets in and you’re ready to bounce hard.
The only people having continuous fun at these parties are the gift receivers, mother of brides/grooms, and new grandparents.
So…Gender reveal parties? Yeah, they suck too.
Hey, free food and cake? Count me in. But, I really don’t need to be part of your viral video idea to pop pink or blue confetti-filled balloons and I’m not bringing you any more gifts if I already attended your baby shower.
And come on, why are YOU spending so much extra money? You’re about to have a BABY. Do you realize how much those things cost? Save your gender reveal fund and buy some damn diapers, because you’re gonna need an assload of those for a good couple years.
Fancy Packed Lunches On Social Media
Yeah. I get it. You’re giving your kid healthy, unprocessed foods every day and that’s awesome! Truly.
But listen – my kids are lucky if I am packing up their lunches earlier than 10 minutes before it’s time to leave. They get PB&J and Cheetos regularly. And, yeah, I top it off with a sugary juice box because it’s convenient.
Don’t worry, I give them apples and oranges too. I’m just not cutting cucumbers into stars and writing love notes. Who has time for all that when you’re trying not to be late?
I really don’t want to see your Bento box filled with sushi and humus on social media. Not because you’re packing something better than me – but because it kills me that you think you’re mommin’ real hard, but in actuality, your kid is at school trying to trade for a Snack Pack and you just don’t know it.
Maternity Photo Shoots
This Trendy Mom Shit is such to me for two reasons: (1) It’s expensive and (2) there is a fine line between what people find adorable and what is actually adorable.
And before you hate me, let me just say there are a few instances where maternity shoots are adorable, completely tasteful, and worth every penny.
For example: if you’re having a “rainbow baby,” it is ABSOLUTELY something to celebrate and document professionally!
Another example: if you have children who will be very far in age from one another, it can be super cute and tasteful to do family photo shoots with preggo mama and excited big bro/sis.
OK, so, what sucks: it’s not cheap! Professional photographers are expensive and something this special is not something you want to use an iPhone for. And, on a personal note, I know lots of women look gorgeous when they’re pregnant, but I cringe at the thought of professionally documenting my 60lb weight gain on purpose.
Also, way too many women think the bare belly thing is…I don’t know…Sexy? When really, you end up looking like this dude:
Yeah, they’re totally eco-friendly and look precious. But, in reality, they are freaking weapons!
Ask any mom who has had a wooden Melissa & Doug puzzle piece chucked at their head by a pissed off toddler . These toys just suck, no matter how cute they are.
MLM’s And Direct Sales
You can read my full feelings regarding MLM’s and Direct Sales companies here.
In a nut shell, I think moms selling shit to other moms is stupid.
I think Essential Oils are bullshit witchcraft and L’Oreal makeup from Wal-Mart works just as well as $50 concealer from your personal businesses.
Also, Amazon’s got my back when it comes to leggings. Please, don’t come at me with fancy woman-named pants for every season.
Hey – There’s Some Trendy Mom Shit I DO Like!
I know I make fun of Pinterest Moms a lot. And I’m still definitely not on board with squirt guns filled with paint as a fun activity…But there’s a lot about Pinterest Moms that I DO love, admire, and dare I say, aspire to be!
Pinterest Moms know how to do birthdays right.
Even if you aren’t going crazy, making big ass balloon arches, Pinterest is an amazing place for straight inspiration. And then, duh, you can share the cool shit you ended up doing to inspire other moms!
As a mom, holidays are my jam!
Go ahead, try to tell me that making every holiday magical for your kids isn’t fun! It totally is!! There is nothing in the entire world better than watching your child’s face light up when they see presents from Santa or when little green footprints reveal their Leprechaun bait actually worked.
And, even if you suck at it like I do, making holiday treats together is a memory worth making.
Just don’t expect to see me doing an Elf on the Shelf.
Homemade Teacher Gifts
Teachers love when you show them appreciation! And what better way to show them you care than making something? But, be careful with this one – homemade shit isn’t always useful. Teachers can only hang so many signs and collect so many coffee mugs before it just becomes too much.
Thank You letters, written and decorated by kids is ALWAYS a good idea that I can get behind!
Useful homemade gifts are always an amazing idea too! Teachers LOVE getting new supplies. Believe it or not, they spend A LOT of their own money throughout the school year. Replenishing their stash (and making it cute) is a top notch gift and Trendy Mom Shit that I fully support.
The ONLY thing I want to make a disclaimer about here is gifts like scented soaps, candles, and, lotions.
Yeah, they are super-duper cute. “Hands Down, you’re the best teacher around!” – Tied to some Bath & Body soap? The sentiment is there, it’s useful with a touch of homemade. But, I have to say, steer clear of this kind of gift UNLESS you personally know your teacher’s preferences.
The reason I say this is because as a Preschool teacher, I have received many adorable gifts like this, and while I TOTALLY APPRECIATED THEM, I am allergic to most scented things. Yep – if you ever gifted me Bath & Body or a candle, I probably gave it to my mom. Don’t get me wrong, I loved that you acknowledged my hard work and said thank you. It broke my heart every time I gave away a gift. But – I just couldn’t keep some of them. SO…I’m just saying – there are absolutely other teachers out there who are also allergic, so just try not to go there!
Trendy Mom Shit. It’s everywhere. Some is awesome. Some is cringe-worthy.
What’s your favorite Trendy Mom Shit?
What do you just friggin hate?
Let me know!
And, hey, send me your favorites.
Click here to find out what I think about Trendy Dad Shit .
4 thoughts on “Trendy Mom Shit”
I hate wooden toys! My nephew loves to bang and throw them whenever he has the chance!
I love this!!! Fortunately, I had my children before the added pressures of a gender reveal party existed.
You are hilarious! I love it 🙂