It Is NEVER OK In Front Of My Kids

It is a well-known fact that I do not have the cleanest language when I speak.

“Shit,” is probably my most used expletive, though, “bitch,” deserves an honorable mention.

I throw out the magical F-Bomb way more than could be considered lady-like.

I know there’s a time and a place for sharing shitty language amongst other adults.

I know my kids probably shouldn’t read anything I write for at least the next 10-15 years…Or until they learn that sarcasm is my love-language and I don’t actually mean it when I call them little assholes.


I’m not here to list all the times and places it’s OK to swear. I’m certain everyone has varying opinions on that and I’m not trying to justify to the masses why I use the F-Bomb in casual conversation with my mother…

I just want to be perfectly clear on one thing, and one thing alone…

It is NEVER OK to speak vulgarly in front of other people’s children nor is it OK to expose them to vulgar music.


We have a permanent site at a campground that we spend most weekends at in the summer.

It’s a nice getaway place, where lots of different people from all over go to just hang out, fish, swim, play horseshoes…

It’s a campground. You get it.

Yesterday afternoon, my three kids (aged 2, 6, and 8) were enjoying some time in the swimming lake.

In fact, lots of kids of all ages were doing the same.

However, our perfect summer afternoon was interrupted when a small group of teenage girls came rolling in.

They set up a big ass amp as a speaker and began a playlist full of some not-so-family-friendly music.

I have no idea who the “artist” was, nor do I care.

I casually ignored the first one or two songs where bad words were used.

Because, hey, it’s me.

And maybe they didn’t realize or even think about the young kids around them.

Maybe it was just the first few songs and then, no big deal after that…

But, nope.

Song after song…

And we’re not talking just F-Bombs.

F-Bombs I can handle.

F-Bombs are my jam.

F-Bombs alone would have merited a simple, “hey, could ya turn it down a bit? We have small kids here.”

But, alas – t’was worse than F-Bombs alone…

What could possibly be worse for my precious angels’ ears, you ask?

How about N-Bombs?

How about entire verses describing in DETAIL how to properly suck a…

Well, you know…

First of all – I don’t care what you listen to or how you speak in front of your own children. That’s your business. That’s your choice. If you feel your 12-year-old needs a phat beat and a graphic explanation on how to please a man, rather than giving the birds and bees talk – hey, good luck being a young grandma.

I have a 6-year-old girl, to whom I don’t plan giving “the talk” until that glorious day she becomes a woman. And when that day comes, I’m pretty sure I’ll be more nervous than she and we will NOT be bonding over music.

My point is – My kids are young. Every kid at that swimming lake was 12 and under. They all hear the occasional swear word slip from strangers and even their own parents (yeah – ya know mine do).

But, come on girls! What WERE you actually thinking?

Did you huddle up before heading to the swim hole and unanimously decide that nothing goes with sun and fun quite like dick?

Did you survey they area first and decide, ‘hey, these kids look like they could use an education?’

And, by the way, where were YOUR parents? You ladies must’ve been 17-ish…Certainly not old enough to be drinking White Claw and jamming out to smut.

I am not an intolerable person by any definition of the word.

But, expose my kids to things they just plain shouldn’t be?

Big. Fat. Nope.

Listen – I am not delusional. I know my kids are going to be exposed to things I don’t want them to see or hear all through their young lives. But, as a parent, it’s my job to be on top of that shit as much as I possibly can. And it’s also my job to set the example to them and others that there are certain things you just don’t do around other families.

And, it’s absolutely my job as a fellow parent to rat out those little twitches to save my kids’ innocence.

And, as for the other parents who stood by that swimming lake with their heads shaking but mouths shut – Well, I hope your car ride home was filled with lots of uncomfortable questions from your tweens.

3 thoughts on “It Is NEVER OK In Front Of My Kids

  1. Some of those songs should be banned from the music world. I hate to think if that had been me in your place but it’s easier think what you would do in a situation like that ten actually doing it.

    Like

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