So, there’s this “viral” post going around on social media about moms and self-care.
Cleaning your house without kids is not a break. Showering is not a break. Grocery shopping alone is not a break. It’s chores and basic hygiene but mothers are supposed to be grateful to do these things that literally everyone else just does. And at some point, we just break…
No truer statement has ever been made.
Moms are notorious for treating shopping trips as a vacation.
But, who is really to blame for this thought process?
I recently read an article from Motherly. Errands and showers are not self-care for moms. It’s an insightful read, really. But it only touches on and ultimately fails to reveal the true source of mom guilt: MOMS.
Hear me out.
As a parent, you have these built-in, natural, maternal needs. You NEED to take care of and protect your child at any cost. You NEED to make sure they are happy. You NEED to make sure they are healthy.
When you had your first baby, your body automatically signed you up for a lifetime of putting another’s needs before your own.
It is nobody’s fault that that’s how you are wired. It’s nature.
Motherly says, “A significant contributor to mom-burnout is that the patriarchy has made moms feel guilty about taking care of our own needs—so much so that we don’t attend to them.”
I say: BULLSHIT.
If you’re having trouble finding time for self-care – TELL YOUR HUSBAND.
Tell your best friend.
Tell your mom.
Tell SOMEONE in your “village” that you need help.
Mom guilt is a fact of life when you have little ones. Even with the most supportive partner, you STILL feel it.
But, if you aren’t taking care of you – it is nobody’s fault but your own for NOT SPEAKING UP.
I will be the first to admit that I don’t always speak up when I need to. Then again, I have a supportive husband who asks when he sees I’m feeling burnout. But, what brings me to my state of burnout? Mom guilt and not asking for help or ME-time: I am mom. I am strong. I don’t need help today.. This family depends on me. I can get through it all!
…Until I can’t anymore.
SPEAK UP. SPEAK UP. SPEAK UP!
If mom isn’t thriving, the family, as a whole, cannot thrive.
If you need help finding time for some self-care, ASK.