I Wore This Yesterday

Today I woke up with a killer headache and a proverbial itch that I just can’t scratch.

What is this shit that has been happening to me?

I like to blame the pandemic when I’m thinking about changes in myself. But, if I’m being honest, that’s not it at all.

Dear Hubs,

I’ve changed my mind.

I don’t want to get married again.

I don’t want to renew our vows.

I know that we have talked about it often, and Pinterest and I have it all planned out.

But here’s the thing: I don’t need a ceremony to make promises.

I don’t need to tell our close friends and family that I love you.

And honestly, would YOU want to sit through someone else’s second wedding?

Something you said to me recently has really stuck out in my mind.

And I know that I shouldn’t share your opinion without your permission – but hear me out…because I swear there’s a point.

In regards to Mother’s Day and other holidays alike, you said, “why do I need a special day to do for you what I should be doing all year long?”

You have never been more right about anything.

Cards and well wishes are great. An extra hug and “I love you” is always welcome. But seriously – why the hell should I expect more of you on Mother’s Day, than any other day of the year? Why should my expectations be higher than normal?

You already say, “thank you,” every day.

You already tell me you appreciate me.

You offer to help clean up.

You quiz our son on his spelling words.

What more do I need to ask of you?

Seriously.

You show me every day that I am not alone.

I don’t need Mother’s Day.

I don’t need to renew vows.

Every day that I wake up and make you coffee – that’s my promise to you that it’s going to be a good day.

Every day that I wake up and surprise you with morning sex – that’s my promise that it’s going to be an even better day.

Every day that I ask you for help – that’s my promise that I’ll always need you.

Every day that I tell you what’s bothering me – that’s my promise that I trust you.

Every day that I ask you, “what’s wrong?” – that’s my promise that I’m here for you.

Every day that I offer to help you – that’s my promise that you have a team mate.

Every day that I hug you – that’s my promise that I’m never letting go of us.

Every day that I kiss you – thats my promise that forever is all I want.

I do not need anything else.

You have already given me you.

And every day –

Every single day –

From today until we are 99 –

I swear,

I promise,

It’s more than enough.

It’s everything I need.

I need us.