So, I’m in the middle of vacuuming and cussing out my dogs for shredding a shitty diaper all over my two-year-old’s bedroom. I’m glistening like a freaking pig. Trying to decide which room of the house is next for a pantless deep-cleaning. (Yes, I’m cleaning my house with no pants on, because I rolled out…… Continue reading Pantless, Sweaty, & Swearing: How DO I Do It?
The whole COVID timeline is beginning to get a little fuzzy for me now. My days have been running together since March and I have been wearing my husband’s boxers as shorts daily since April. All I know at this moment is it’s July and while businesses are reopening, there are tons of douchebags out…… Continue reading Things I Didn’t Miss During Lockdown
My list of people who just grind my gears… Teachers Who Hate Kids Once upon a time, I was a Preschool teacher. Over the years, I met a lot of people who were amazing with little ones. But I also encountered a great many who should never have chosen childcare as a profession. I feel…… Continue reading Types Of People I Want To Dropkick
Alert! Alert! As it turns out, Summer is not canceled after all! Grab your coolers and sunscreen. Put on your favorite flip-flops (just not from freaking Old Navy) and dust off that two-piece! As states are slowly reopening after the Great COVID Pandemic of 2020 (which isn’t actually over), and homeschooling is coming to an…… Continue reading Summer Is Back On! My Beach Bod Is Not Ready!
I LOVE MY KIDDOS. All freaking three of them. No, wait – six. I have two dogs and a hubs as well. Anyway – I friggin love them all. And I’m pretty sure they all love me too – which is kind of mind-blowing because… I’m a Shitty Mom. Sometimes there is no clean underwear.…… Continue reading How To Tell If You’re A Shitty Mom
Dear Old Navy, Today begins the “One Dolla Holla” flip-flop sale online. As I understand it, the deal is for basic color flip-flops, limit of 5, and your Old Navy/Gap credit card must be the sole means of payment. This is awesome if you have a store credit card. But, hey – some of us…… Continue reading An Open Letter To Old Navy & The One Dolla Holla
My third and youngest child has finally hit that oh-so-magical milestone: The Terrible Two’s. I had almost forgotten what the magic was like. The organic sound of nail-dragging screams. The assertiveness. The impressive ability to turn from happy-go-lucky Little Man to uncompromising dictator in seconds flat… Yep. It’s happening. No one knows when or where…… Continue reading Terrible Two’s Is Happening – Please, Send Vodka